


Enough

by riumairu (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, But so was he so I guess it’s fine, Happy Ending, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hurt Kageyama Tobio, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama’s old teammates are jerks, M/M, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Sad with a Happy Ending, insecure kageyama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21982291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/riumairu
Summary: No, Young Kageyama understood nothing.However, one word captured his attention.He wasn’t quite sure why - But the word kept repeating itself in his mind,Over,And over,Again.And as Kageyama left the locker room, a thought briefly flickered across his mind.Was /he/ enough?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru (mentioned)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 309





	Enough

Sometimes, I see people who wonder if they’re enough.

And sometimes, that person is me.

-

When Kageyama asked Oikawa to teach him how to do a jump serve, he didn’t expect to see pain and fury in Oikawa’s eyes. 

Obviously - It was just a simple question, asked with awe and admiration for his Upperclassman’s skill.

No more to it. 

That’s all it meant to Kageyama.

However, to Oikawa, it was everything. 

And perhaps that’s why he tried to strike Kageyama - Pain and anger reflected in his wide brown eyes.

Kageyama didn’t know that though. 

But it was okay - Because Iwaizumi stepped in, and stopped Oikawa from doing anything too rash. It was okay - And so, Iwaizumi told Kageyama to leave, “Ah, Kageyama, we’re done practice for now. How about you go home?” 

In response, Kageyama gave a small nod, bowing before he left.

He didn’t understand the look of pain and guilt in Oikawa’s eyes, nor the pity and the care within Iwaizumi’s.

He didn’t understand why a couple of seconds after he exited the room, he could hear Oikawa sobbing and apologizing.

He didn’t understand Oikawa’s words - 

“...I’m not enough, Iwa-chan, I’ll never be.”

“...“

“...Fuck, I really wish I was enough.”

No, Young Kageyama understood nothing. 

However, one word captured his attention.

He wasn’t quite sure why - But the word kept repeating itself in his mind, 

Over,

And over, 

Again.

Enough.

And as Kageyama left the locker room, a thought briefly flickered across his mind.

Was /he/ enough?

-

“Move faster! Get there in time if you want to hit my sets - Do you want to win or not?”

“Jump higher! Hurry up!”

“Shut up! Move!”

Kageyama didn’t know why he said those things - He really wished he didn’t.

Because karma has a way of making its way back to people who deserve it.

...And in that match, no one was there to hit his sets. They all blanked out on him - Left him to rot by himself.

And Kageyama understood.

He wasn’t enough.

-

They had a couple matches after that - None of which Kageyama said anything. He apologized to the coach, and was allowed to join in on one more practice match.

And wouldn’t you know it, in this match, they were facing off a certain team - A team that Kageyama recognized.

Hinata’s team.

Huh, Kageyama thought idly fidgeting with his shoelaces.

I wonder how that’ll go.

I wonder, this time around, will I be enough? 

During the match, he stayed silent, tossing at a pace of which he knew his teammates could hit. Unfortunately for him, it soon became clear that his teammates didn’t quite know how to hit them - They kept jumping later than usual, seemingly surprised that the ball was even there.

“Oi, King! What’s with your tosses? They’re terrible!” Kindaichi scoffed. 

That wasn’t true.

Kageyama knew that his tosses were hittable. 

In fact, he’d even say they were good.

But who was Kageyama to complain?

Who was he to say anything to the people he had hurt before?

“...Sorry. I’ll work on them.” Kageyama replied, huffing out a breathe.

To be completely honest, Kageyama was terrified. Terrified that there’d be no one to hit the ball - Terrified that he’d be benched, terrified that everyone would hate him more than they already did.

...Terrified that he wasn’t enough.

His gut churned unpleasantly at the thought.

“Just do your job properly.” Kunimi scowled, usually bored eyes lit up with annoyance.

How do I apologize to someone who hates me?

“...Okay, uh Kunimi?” Kageyama asked quietly, clenching his fists to hide the fact that they were shaking.

Come on, Kageyama.

You can do this.

You are enough.

You have to be.

...

“What?” Kunimi responded, expression still annoyed.

… It’s really scary.

Why is it so scary just to ask how my tosses are?

Is it because they hate me?

Is it because I’m not enough?

“Uh, what should I change about my tosses? Maybe, maybe I could work on it…” His voice trailed off when he noticed Kunimi’s bewildered expression. Behind him, Kindaichi unsuccessfully tried to turn a snigger into a cough. 

Ah.

I shouldn’t have asked.

Kindaichi smirked, waving a hand in the air.

“You’re really trying to fix this,” Kindaichi gestured to him and the court, “This relationship? Seriously? Oh god, you’re really dense.” 

Kageyama felt his heart pace speeding up, panic settling in his chest. Quickly, he turned his head to meet the coach’s eyes, but…

The coach just looked away, eyes narrowed.

...Isn’t the coach supposed to protect us?

Not even an adult would help him?

The court fell scarily silent.

Kageyama opened his mouth, trying to ignore the building sense of fear pooling in his stomach. “I’m not, I just want to improve my tosses a bit,” he tried to control his voice, he knew yelling wouldn’t get him anywhere. “I-” He trailed off again, eyes widening as he saw his teammates giggling.

“Oh my god,” Kunimi shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe the words Kageyama were saying. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“And why is that?” Kindaichi sneered. “Have you ever thought about how irritating you are?”

Kageyama’s breath hitched in his throat. 

A 2nd year joined, his voice cold as ice, “You act all high and mighty, but you’re a no one, Kageyama. You’re no better than us, yet you act like you own everything.”

The silence was deafening. He hid his hands behind his back, trying not to show that they were shaking. He clenched them, willing them to stop.

I am enough, he whispered in his mind, trying to keep himself sane.

“Have you ever wondered why never talk to you? Heck, we don’t even acknowledge your existence!” Another teammate piped up, not stopping to take a breath.

I am enough, he whimpered quietly to himself, willing himself not to break.

“Yeah,” Kindaichi’s eyes were filled with rage. “No one wants to be with you, nor even talk to you. Do you get it? Because it’s simple, really. Even someone who is as stupid and ignorant as you could figure it out.”

He flinched at the insult, digging his fingernails into his skin.

...I am enough, he tried to think, trying to keep the tears from falling.

“You are absolutely unbearable.”

...I am enough? He wondered, flinching.

“No one can work with you – none of us,” Kunimi pointed at the others, looking around. “You’re so bossy and ignorant - It’s tiring. You’re only here, because of a single, mere reason. Have you figured it out yet? Huh?”

Kageyama couldn’t move.

...I am enough…? He questioned the words again, believing them less and less each time he said them.

“It’s only because we have to deal with you.”

...I am enough. I should be. 

But what if I’m not?

Kageyama wanted to cover his ears, to put a stop to the constant ringing of white noise - but instead, he just closed his eyes, taking deep gulps of the darkness that covered his vision.

I am.  
…  
Am I?  
He wanted to be deaf, to eliminate all feelings, so that he could distract his mind from the mental pain the cruel words from his team did.

Because–

What does it matter if you’re enough, when you’re alone?

“...What?” 

Several heads turned, only to find an angered Hinata glaring at them.

“...Oh my god. I can’t believe this.” Hinata continued, ducking under the net to meet Kindaichi. “How can you say that?” He continued, voice raising louder and louder. “He’s your teammate, is he not?” 

Kindaichi raised an eyebrow, annoyed. 

“Kageyama is no teammate of ours.” 

He said, no guilt nor pity in his icy cold voice.

Kageyama flinched, squeezing his own hands.

Because he knew no one would hold them for him.

“You disgust me. How can you say that to a living being -” Hinata’s eyes softened, meeting Kageyama’s. “...He’s only 13, is he not? You all,” He motioned to Kageyama’s team, “Are also only 14, are you not? You shouldn’t be like this at 14-“

Hinata opened his mouth again to continue - 

But Kageyama stopped him.

Squeezing Hinata’s wrist, Kageyama could feel his legs tremble.

Tremble from utter, complete fear.

He was scared.

So, so, scared.  
“...Please don’t. I-I can deal with it,” He whispered, blinking, willing the tears not to fall. 

Hinata scoffed, looking at Kageyama, “That’s stupid, don’t say that, no one can deal with that much hatred - ”

“No, you don’t understand - ” He continued, his voice raspy and starting to crack.

“... I deserve it.” He whimpered even quieter, lowering his voice so that only Hinata could hear. 

And at this Hinata, jerked upwards, a light of shock and fury in his eyes. “Don’t say that,”

What?

“No one deserves to be treated that way, so don’t you dare say you deserve it!”

No.

I don’t.

Not me -

I’m not enough.

“You don’t get it,” He murmured under his breath, “I’m not enough.”

A chilling silence ran through the air.

Slowly, Hinata brought his head up, pity reflected in his warm brown eyes.

“...What did they do to you?” Hinata whispered with disbelief. “What did they do so that you can say that!?” 

Kindaichi flinched at this, anger flickering in his eyes. “We didn’t do anything - ” He began to protest.

And Hinata slapped him hard, across the cheek.

Backing away, Kindaichi cursed colourfully as he held a hand to his swollen cheek. “What the heck, shorty? That hurt!” He yelped as he hobbled backwards.

The referee blew his whistle loudly, but Hinata ignored it.

Tears brimming in Hinata’s eyes, he continued. “You - Your team -”

“What the hell did you do to make him say that he deserves it? What the hell did you say to make him believe that he isn’t enough?” He yelled, eyes widened with fury. One of Hinata’s teammates, a boy with light caramel hair and freckles, spoke up as well. 

“Yeah, Hinata’s right,” He said, his voice quiet at first, but then started to pick up volume. “What did you do to him? So what, you hate him?”

“No child who has done nothing serious deserves to be hated and yelled at like that. No one deserves to get ganged up on by their own team.” He scoffed, turning his soft almond eyes on Kageyama. 

The boy sighed, “You guys disgust me. You’re all practically bullying him - And that, that is one of the worst damn things you can do to a kid.” Quieter, he muttered, “I would know.”

The referee blew his whistle again, louder this time, annoyance lacing his voice.

“Stop it kids! Hurry up, you’re in a game!” 

Another boy, one with spiky black hair and sharp features, came up and rubbed small, unassuming but reassuring circles into the caramel - haired boy’s back. who was trembling. He turned to the referee, anger in his sharp gaze. “We don’t want to play with people like them. We’re leaving - With all due respect.” He shot a glare at Kageyama’s team, “Not to you guys, of course.”

And Hinata’s team left, all of them whispering to each other and giving disgusted looks at Kageyama’s team.

And Kageyama stared at the other team with wonder - 

Was that how a team was supposed to be like?

What... what has he been missing out on all this time?

... 

“...Hey, are you alright?” Hinata’s voice asked, gentle. Kageyama looked up, his midnight blue eyes meeting Hinata’s chocolate brown eyes. “Mhm,” He replied, giving a thumbs up. He frowned down at Kageyama, sitting down with a ‘plop’. 

“Those guys are jerks.” Hinata said, frowning. 

“... It really is my fault though,” Kageyama murmured, fidgeting with his shoelaces. At this, the orange-haired boy stiffened, turning his gaze to look at Kageyama. 

“... Did you do something to make them act like that?” He questioned softly, but jumped when Kageyama looked at him. “Gwahck! You don’t have to answer -” 

Kageyama sniggered, “It’s okay. I guess - I just, I -” He paused, scrunching his nose. “Sometimes my temper gets out of hand. I - I yelled at them a lot.” Scratching the back of his neck, he sighed, “I told them to move faster, to jump higher - Ignoring their protests and thinking selfishly, of myself and myself only. I was really egotistical and rude. I never listened to them when they complained, and -” He lowered his voice, his throat clenching. “I guess they got fed up or something. I really didn’t realize it was so bad - I get caught up with myself when I’m focused.” 

He clenched his fist, trying to stop it from shaking.

“Did you apologize?” 

Kageyama jolted upright, “I’ve tried? But to do that, I had to, y’know, get them to actually listen to me.” He chuckled, remembering Kunimi’s surprised face when he tried to talk to him, and the thought that ran through his mind when it happened. 

A pause.

“I think- I think you should try again. Even though they hurt you, and - No one deserves to be ganged up on and mistreated like that.” Hinata said slowly, as if trying to choose his words carefully. “I get excited a lot too, and force people into things. Heck, a lot of my team don’t even play volleyball!” He smiled sadly. “Even though we’re friends, we can never truly be teammates.”

Kageyama paused, remembering the faces and the gentle souls of Hinata’s team.  
“I think your team and you are pretty amazing,” He said, looking at Hinata. Hinata’s expression changed, into a mixture of pride and confusion. “They all - They all seem really brave - Different from my team and me.”

After a moments pause, the ravenette added: “Uh, that caramel haired boy. With the freckles? He - He seemed really brave. He stood up for me, even when it was clear that he was nervous.”

Hinata grinned, yawning. “Yeah, Izumi’s pretty great! He got bullied before - But now he’s better. I could never be like him, he’s super cool! He dealt with so much everyday, and even had the courage to stand up to them!” Hinata turned to Kageyama, newfound light in his eyes.

“Thank you, for that. I guess our team is pretty cool.” 

Kageyama stared back, feeling his face melt into a smile.

“No, thank you. Your team -”

“Your team made me feel like I was enough, for once.”  
-

Kageyama’s legs trembled.

He couldn’t move, feeling like he was rooted to the spot.

A practice match with Aoba Johsai?

“Hey, Kageyama, that’s where most people from your middle school went, right? Kitagawa Daiichi.”  
Suga asked, tipping his head.

Kindaichi.

Kunimi.

The team -

… I can’t do this.

“...Y-Yeah.” He replied, wincing at his small voice, sounding like a whimpering child.  
He could feel Hinata’s gaze boring into his back.

“Will you be alright?” Hinata asked gently, nudging Kageyama in the shoulder.

No.

I’m not enough for them.

I’m not -

But then he remembered Hinata’s warm brown eyes,

Izumi’s caring gaze,

Koji’s protectiveness.

...How can I call myself enough,

If I don’t try?

“...Yeah. I’ll be alright.” He said, glancing at Hinata. 

At first, Hinata’s eyes were wide, confused and worried. 

But once he saw Kageyama’s determined look, he smiled as well,

“Yeah! Kageyama will definitely be alright!” 

-  
My heart is pounding.

It’s fast.

...I’m scared.

What if I’m not enough this time around?

“Haven’t seen you for a while, king. Looking forward to seeing what kind of dictatorship you’ve put in this time around.” Kindaichi scoffed, glaring at Kageyama. The brown-haired boy next to him raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

I have to be enough.

“Yeah.” He replied calmly, making direct eye contact with Kindaichi. He sighed with relief in his mind, proud of how unwavering his voice sounded. “See you.” 

Kindaichi’s jaw dropped, eyes widened.

And Kageyama walked away.

“Good job, Kageyama!!” Hinata winked, grinning brightly at him. 

He smiled.

I am enough.

-  
The game passed by in a blur of emotions.

Worry, annoyance, relief, pride, joy, scared yet excited -

But in the end, he won.

No.

We won.

He looked to the side, his midnight blue eyes meeting Kindaichi’s rage-filled green ones.

And Kageyama smiled.

I am enough.

-  
He hummed lightly, turning the corner which led to the boy’s bathroom-

And was greeted by a rather frazzled looking Kindaichi.

“...I think you should try again. Try apologizing again.” He remembered Hinata.

... He’s right.

I have to start somewhere, and at least let them know I’m sorry -

I should apologize -

Kageyama gulped, and clenched his fists before opening his mouth.

“I’m-”

“Don’t apologize!” 

Kageyama flinched, almost expecting to get hit, waiting for the strike to come.

But it never did.

Huh?

He opened his eyes tentatively, seeing Kindaichi glaring at him.

“I’m not going to apologize either!” Kindaichi said, his voice not unkind, but firm.

“... Okay,” Kageyama replied, straightening up.

“So don’t act like we’ll be friends again - We never were in the first place. Middle school - Middle school is past us now. But to me, you’ll always be the egotistical king, and the person I want to beat most!” Kindaichi continued, his green eyes flaring with passion. “And the next time we face off, my team will be the one to win!” 

Kageyama blinked.

… He’s not going to forgive me.

… And that’s okay.

He smiled, looking directly into Kindaichi’s eyes.

“Okay. But keep in mind, next time, we’ll win again.”

Before leaving, he gave Kindaichi a small nod - A sign of respect. Not an apology, but something to show that he recognized what he did wrong. A sign of peace

And he walked off.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

And he smiled.

I am enough.

-  
He couldn’t stop the smile on his face.

It was weird - So, so weird.

For once,

He felt like he was enough.

… And there was one person who helped him,

All the way through.

He gulped, examining the flowers he had bought. 

“Kageyama?” 

Kageyama jumped, turning around to see…

Hinata, smiling brightly at him. “What did you need! You were amazing out there!! Sorry I messed up in the first round, haha - Also sorry for y’know, nailing a serve at the back of your head…?” Kageyama chortled, looking at him. “No, actually, I wanted to say thank you.”

Hinata tipped his head, a confused expression written on his face. “Thank me? Why?” He asked, blinking. Kageyama took his hand, “Wh-? Kageyama, what are you -”

And Kageyama kissed Hinata’s palm - The spot where Hinata used to spike.

Hinata flushed red, “A-Ah? Kageyama??” 

“Thank you, for everything. You and your team protected me when I -” He paused. Thinking of middle school always ran shivers down his spine. “When my team was… Insulting me. You’re determined and funny and kind - I envy and adore all that.” He gave a small smile, chuckling at Hinata’s embarrassed expression.

“I - You’re welcome. But - Who are you and what did you do to Kageyama?!”

“Boke, shut up! I’m having a moment here!”

“Eep! Sorry!”

Kageyama threw back his head and laughed, the cold breeze hitting his face. “Phew. I’m not done though.” He grinned, handing the flowers to Hinata. “F-For me?” He stuttered, looking at the flowers, then at Kageyama. 

He nodded, “Thank you so much. I-I like you.” A pause. “You make me enough - You always have.” He finished softly, feeling his cheeks grow warm. 

“...”

“Phew!!” Hinata sighed in relief, placing hand on his heart.

“Hahh?”

“Eep! I like you too! I’m just so - happy -” Hinata cried, tears of joy running down his face. 

And Kageyama laughed, and so he pulled Hinata in for a kiss.

And they loved it.

“Hey, Kageyama?” Hinata asked against the others lips. “Hm?” Kageyama murmured back, smiling from ear-to-ear. “I‘m not the one who makes you enough,” He continued. 

“You always have been enough, from the beginning.”

And Hinata pulled Kageyama down for another kiss.

And another,

And another.

‘You always have been enough.’

Kageyama grinned against Hinata’s lips, which tasted like cherry blossoms and Sakura mochi and raspberries. 

Hinata’s lips, which were plump and soft and perfect.

Hinata, who was perfect in every way possible.

I am enough, and more so now, because you’re with me.

I am enough.

Kageyama kissed Hinata again.

Thank you.


End file.
